Let's Go Home, Bunny
by PurpleHaze
Summary: YAY!! *Rejoices* My first JtHM fic! Not that amazing, and quite short, but I need some ego-feeding reviews before I can write some braver stuff. The tale of how lil' ol' 'Nny got his beloved Nailbunny... ^^;; Originality!


A/N: Whee! My first JtHM fic. Actually, pretty much my first proper fic altogether. I know, it's not all that funny, and it's not all that angsty, rated R for a light helping of gore, served with a side of coarse language, and garnished with a touch of typical PurpleHaze cynicism. Yay… just read the damn thing already.  
  
1 Let's Go Home, Bunny – By Hazel (PurpleHaze)  
  
The clerk stood behind the counter, her grey eyes lethargically roaming the practically deserted store… deserted, except for the animals. They went about their lives in those glass and wire mesh cages with their floors of straw, giving potential buyers solemn, woeful looks as they walked by.  
  
She sighed and tucked a lock of her short black hair behind a heavily- pierced ear, as yet another hopeful child stopped and peered into the cold glass front window of the pet shop, smiling at a young Labrador that was wagging it's tale manically. But, after a short, longing gaze at the puppy, the kid was dragged off by an aggravated parent.  
  
'I need a better job,' thought the clerk, absently counting the days earnings. $45.85, and she had been working 6 hours straight. Only one measly customer had bought anything: a bulk bag of 'Doggy Chow' and a selection of squeaky toys.  
  
She looked at her watch. Forty-five minutes until her shift was over, and she could go home to her quaint little apartment, have dinner and go to bed, only to wake up the same boring nothing-person, and go to the same boring job.  
  
Just when the clerk was contemplating closing early for the night, a tall, skinny man with dark blue-black hair entered the shop with a tinkle of the doorbell. He was wearing tall black boots and a striped shirt.  
  
"Good afternoon, Sir. May I help you?"  
  
He gave the shopkeeper an intense look, and mumbled, "I'm just looking, thanks."  
  
"Okay, just ask me if you need assistance with something." She said in a hollow, I've-done-this-a-thousand-times-and-I-think-I'll-slit-my-wrists-if- I-have-to-say-it-again tone, promptly going back to doing nothing.  
  
The man ignored her and kept looking at the various animals on display. He noticed a large glass tank with a "NOT FOR SALE" sign taped to the front. Closer inspection revealed an enormous python, coiled in the corner of the tank under the heat of a light bulb. The customer smiled faintly and continued browsing. A parrot sitting on a perch squawked an obscenity at him as he wandered by, and the man shot it a piercing gaze, bearing his crooked teeth in a snarl. It shut up.  
  
Then, a small Styrofoam box caught the tall man's attention. He examined the container, and saw half a dozen little balls of brown and white fluff huddled in the corner of the box. He grinned and picked one up. The baby rabbits frantic breathing slowed a little as he held it gently in his palm and stroked it lightly. The rabbit closed its eyes and relaxed, snuggling into the curves of the man's hand.  
  
He walked back up to the counter, as the clerk looked up from an ancient magazine she was currently reading.  
  
"Can I help you?" she asked, not even attempting to hide the boredom in her voice.  
  
"Yes. I would like to buy this bunny." The man looked down at the peacefully sleeping rabbit in his hands.  
  
"Okaaay… do you know how to look after it? A pet is a big responsibility and all that crap." She said, rolling her eyes.  
  
He glared at her patronising tone, and his left eye began to twitch slightly.  
  
"Oh, whatever then. That'll be four dollars."  
  
"And," he added reflectively, "I'll have a…" he paused as if in thought, "Carrot?"  
  
"Uh… okay…" she reached under the counter and produced a container of carrot sticks that was her uneaten snack.  
  
"Oh, no, I just want the one."  
  
She raised an eyebrow, shrugged and removed one carrot stick from the container, pacing it on the countertop.  
  
"So how much is that?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, I suppose the carrot is free… you sure you don't want anything else?"  
  
"No. That's all thankyou." He reached into a pocket but hesitated. "You don't sell nails, by any chance, do you?" he asked.  
  
The clerk, now thoroughly weirded out and mentally kicking herself for not bringing pepper spray to work with her that morning, gave the man a questioning look, and shook her head.  
  
"Oh, okay then. Here you are." He placed two one-dollar bills and a handful of coinage on the counter and turned to leave, single carrot stick in hand.  
  
The clerk took the money and put it in the open cash drawer, closing it with a 'chink' afterwards. "Have a wacky day!" she called out the door with false enthusiasm as the strange man was leaving.  
  
* * *  
  
Blood splattered the wall behind the counter and dripped sinisterly from the cash register. The howls and hoots of the panicked animals nearly drowned out the shadows of a scream that still echoed in the streets outside the pet shop. A python that had escaped its shattered tank slithered along the glass-strewn floor towards what looked like a pair of human lips, it's tongue flicking in and out of its reptilian mouth. The snake writhed over top of a mangled corpse that lay, with limbs at unnatural angles, hurled against the tank, it's face hideously maimed, presumably by the pair of scissors that rested on the lifeless chest of the carcass.  
  
Unhinging its jaw, the python swallowed the lips whole, before curling up in a patch of afternoon sunlight that beamed in through a fractured window.  
  
* * *  
  
A tall skinny man walked down the deserted street, whistling a cheerful tune as he strolled along. His clothes were dotted with a thick red liquid, still warm, and he held something soft and fluffy in his cupped, blood drenched hands. He smiled warmly.  
  
"Let's go home, bunny." 


End file.
